Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Thoughts...


There is so much that I want to write.

First of all... Through this blog, I met an amazing woman named Lacey and her family.  Her son, Collin, had an AVM rupture late last year.  I had the privilege to visit them and spend some time with them in the hospital.  Collin survived his rupture and now faces struggles that I can not even imagine. You can follow his journey and progress at Collin's Journey .
Their story (and faith) has amazed me and I believe that Lacey, Jamie and Devon possess strength that none of us can comprehend.
She has been an amazing support to me and I am very thankful for her.

Secondly... I came across this picture of Nate's prayer while Abby was in the hospital.  He has been the only one of my children that will not talk about the day Abigail got sick.  It breaks my heart that he has internalized so much and I pray that one day he will open up.

Third... My sister, Liz took the picture of me holding Abby's hand while she was in a coma.  I had absolutely no idea that she did and I am so incredibly grateful that she did.  It is a heartbreaking picture, but it is the last picture that I have of me and my baby.  She also put together a photo book for me that I am able to look through time to time.  Sometimes, it's too painful...other times, it is comforting.  I absolutely love that book.

Next... My first Mother's day without my sweet Abigail came and it began with me waking up in tears.  My boys heard me crying and dropped what they were doing to come and comfort me.  They were precious.  They hugged me, rubbed my back, told me that they missed her too, and started talking about fun memories. They are the best sons that a mother could ever ask for.  Calla made me a collage poster with pictures of all 4 of my kids, and it was the best present I could have imagined receiving.  My kids, who I am supposed to be so strong for, were my rocks and I am so proud of the strength and love that they possess.

Lastly...  Tomorrow marks 11 months since Abigail passed away.  I am terrified at the prospect of the year anniversary of her death.  This next month may be the hardest one yet and I do not know how to prepare.  Please keep my family and me in your prayers, send me pictures of her if you have them, and or memories of her.  I would love to read about the impression that she left on you.  She was amazing, inspiring, full of life and excitement... she will always be a part of who I am, but I am scared that I will forget things about her as time moves on.

Thank you all for your love and support.  I would not have made it through this past year without you.